Inviolate vows-Till death do us part

In sickness and health,in poverty and riches, for better or worse......These are the words, uttered by the married , both male and female, yet I choose to talk to the man, the masculine piece of the relationship by divine order, the one who prides in being head of the home.I talk to you, not as a bystander, but as one of you. In one way or the other,we have violated the vow. I may seem judgemental but hey, hear me out; Will you stand to be counted as one who has never violated the vow? Will you be honest to self and say that you are indeed one with her? Haven't you kept the deal from her for fear of being reprimanded? Never mind the fact that many times the deal has gone sour and the cash has sank. Haven't you failed to disclose your financial "True North" in the guise of "protecting the family"? How many times have you "Kulad na macho"as they say it , till it feels normal to. "You know we are polygamous in nature" You say it casualy, with a wry smile as you briskly walk away.

Where did we go wrong? That's the big question right here! "She has changed" you say. "She doesn't respect me and she is materialistic " So you justify to yourself and yet you suffer in silence. Before you know it, You are sipping the contents in the brown bottle, you're coming home late as you hang out with the crew, you begin wishing that she was like that office girl or business girl that you are fond of. As a matter of fact, you begin wishing that, that other girl was her. Before you sink deeper, pause for a moment and go back in time......she's changed coz motherhood has changed her. She is your home maker and this has taken a toll on her. She may have a part to play in all these, but I talk to you the man, coz you are the head, and you pride in it.Remember, leadership in the relationship begins with you!

The modern woman is wiser, more educated and quite opinionated and as such the man must rethink and restrategize on what being "head of the home" In our times is all about. Men don't talk but now they must, with each other, in the male barazas. No man can handle the complexity of our times by himself. As men we must identify our accountability structures and social support systems amongst our peers and plug in or else, depression,stress,drunkardness,side chicks, disjointed homes, broken homes, children deprived of the father's love, early deaths and many other social ills, will continue to be the order of day. As men we must stand up to be counted and recommit to the vows, no matter the challenge. We will not, in the words of the song, "walk away from the troubles in my life" and We will not justify our short comings. We may have violated the vow, but we are in this......till death do us part...and in the new, the vows shall firmly remain, inviolate.

Jamo