Tabula Rasa- Clean slate

In the theory of knowledge and psychology, the state of the “blankness” of mind is referred to as tabula rasa. This can also be defined as the mind being in a clean slate state. In the 17th century, the English empiricist John Locke, in An Essay Concerning Human Understanding (1689), argued for the mind’s initial resemblance to “white paper, void of all characters,” with “all the materials of reason and knowledge” derived from experience.

We are a sum of our experiences and cannot run from that. When you see a broken man, a strong man, a weak man, a lazy man, a courageous man, just remember that they are who they are because of what they have gone through in life.

“He is such a weak man” you say, with a sneer and a condescending tone. Have you been in his shoes? Have you walked his journey? Do you know what it feels like to be a weak man in this so judgmental society? Can you carry the weight on his shoulders for just a second? I doubt you would. Even most of the courageous man in the society (or so you think), has some deep lying wounds which have been inflicted through the experiences he has gone through to become the courageous man that he is today.

Women are unforgetting while men are unforgiving. I am reminded of an interesting story in the good book about a King named David, who was embarrassed by a subordinate in his time of great turmoil and he kept the matter to heart for a long time, but while on his death bed and about to meet his maker, called his son and reminded him of this very hurting matter of the heart and asked him to not let it pass. Well, his son executed the subordinate. This is how men are wired. We may not keep on reminding you one too many times that you have wronged us but most of the time, we keep the matter to heart, and the more we do the heavier the load of what we carry.

Forgiveness and letting go is what a man needs to do, but can he? Can a man’s mind be in a state of tabula rasa to the past hurts and pains that now define the very essence of him? The biggest challenge that a man has is self-forgiveness. If a man can forgive himself for the failures and wrongs he has committed on himself, then he can forgive others, he can have a clean slate and redefine his life. He can move from a state of dis-empowered to empowered, from being weak to strong, being fearful to being courageous.

“But it’s too painful”, “I must get back at her”, “She will know that I am the man in the relationship”, “Huyo hata na dawa sitamsamehea” (Not even medication will make me forgive this one), you affirm with pain and rage! The principle of the log and the spec applies here…...before dealing with the spec that is of the wrong that has been committed you, remove the log that has been enlarging in your eye because you cannot forgive yourself! Pain and rage are contagious but so is love and happiness within any relationship, and what you spread is purely a matter of choice. Self-forgive so that you can forgive! Get your mind to the state of tabula rasa to the negative….and give the significant other an opportunity for a clean slate! This is not a one off but something you must do as often as you can!

Have a “tabularasarized” time!